I have a life. Right?




My name is Matthew Raymond Petersen Suchecki. I know, it's a mouthful.





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CALENDAR

Posted 2 days ago | 115,339 notes | via | © | Comments

getsby:

me when my only friend in the class is about to sit down next to someone else

image

Posted 3 days ago | 24,221 notes | via | © | Comments

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

takanobaka:

Why say “ding dong you are wrong” when you could say “eggs and bacon you’re mistaken”

image

Posted 3 days ago | 113,132 notes | via | © | Comments

storagelockerfullofcowfigurines:

arieces:

OH MY GOD

I didn’t see this coming and I don’t know why.

Posted 3 days ago | 142,200 notes | via | © | Comments

bagmilk:

when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

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image

image

Posted 3 days ago | 314,900 notes | via | © | Comments
dreamwurks:

nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

More importantly why didn’t you say ‘my time has cum’

dreamwurks:

nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

More importantly why didn’t you say ‘my time has cum’

Posted 3 days ago | 238,470 notes | via | © | Comments

huffingtonpost:

Matt Damon Does Ice Bucket Challenge With Toilet Water For 800 Million Without Clean H2O

Matt Damon was conflicted when friends Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck called on him to complete the ALS ice bucket challenge.

Find out who Damon challenges here. 

Posted 3 days ago | 67,164 notes | via | © | Comments
Posted 3 days ago | 48,131 notes | via | © | Comments
lockrum:

laina:

laina:

laina:

this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious

update: I banged him

lockrum:

laina:

laina:

laina:

this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious

update: I banged him

Posted 3 days ago | 322,855 notes | via | © | Comments

theamazingindi:

dear white tumblr, specifically, the original poster, miracle-flipper

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thanks for lumping ghazali jafaar, the commander of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a formerly armed activist group of Islamic Moro people, (a historically oppressed ethnic group in the Phillipines) who until recently were fighting for independence and later for their own sub-state and land, with a bunch of odd white people on reality tv. because he obviously belongs up there with reality tv creeps. let’s talk history.

the moro people were recently able to sign a peace agreement with the phillipines after decades of blaming and blood-shedding on both sides, ranging from beheading to shooting. lots of blood shed. you probably didn’t know that or bother to check that before you ran to tumblr to make a joke for the sake of ‘internet popularity’

if you regarded this information as ‘not important’ or think that there are people who should ‘chill’ for a joke, imagine putting any contreversial political leader among with men whose job description reads ‘rimjob inventor’ and see how offended you are. obama, churchill, i literally don’t care, this isn’t funny and not an apt comparison. regardless of your stance on the MILF they have taken lives, people have died for and because of them.

not everyone in the world speaks english. not everything in the world is about western countries. if intersectionality and racism were REALLY important to tumblr, you’d do your research, or at least wonder why the gentleman standing behind jafaar has a fucking gun.

sure it’s funny in english. but it’s not fucking respectful when you pull stupid shit like this.

fuck this white, western focus on tumblr that political issues that have taken lives ~*other countries~* get made into jokes. if you can’t blame it on yourselves and use your guilt to feel better, apparently the problems of non-western people don’t exist.

fuck you and your centralist, racist, bullshit. all for notes on the internet.

Posted 3 days ago | 15,111 notes | via | © | Comments

sammybitchfacewinchester:

fricken-nuggets:

fricken-nuggets:

Whats red and bad for your teeth?

a brick

well you’re not wrong

Posted 3 days ago | 310,996 notes | via | © | Comments

apostitutes:

scrappylittlenugget:

apostitutes:

doinels:

my brother found my vibrator

a teenage horror story in one sentence

i found my brothers vibrator

plot twist

Posted 3 days ago | 81,133 notes | via | © | Comments
Posted 5 days ago | 54,500 notes | via | © | Comments

n8yager:

Foxes living on the beach in Hokkaido [x]

Posted 5 days ago | 48,455 notes | via | © | Comments
Posted 5 days ago | 57,807 notes | via | © | Comments







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