me when my only friend in the class is about to sit down next to someone else
Why say “ding dong you are wrong” when you could say “eggs and bacon you’re mistaken”
when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table
Yes, it does.
Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”
More importantly why didn’t you say ‘my time has cum’
Matt Damon was conflicted when friends Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck called on him to complete the ALS ice bucket challenge.
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
update: I banged him
dear white tumblr, specifically, the original poster, miracle-flipper
thanks for lumping ghazali jafaar, the commander of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a formerly armed activist group of Islamic Moro people, (a historically oppressed ethnic group in the Phillipines) who until recently were fighting for independence and later for their own sub-state and land, with a bunch of odd white people on reality tv. because he obviously belongs up there with reality tv creeps. let’s talk history.
the moro people were recently able to sign a peace agreement with the phillipines after decades of blaming and blood-shedding on both sides, ranging from beheading to shooting. lots of blood shed. you probably didn’t know that or bother to check that before you ran to tumblr to make a joke for the sake of ‘internet popularity’
if you regarded this information as ‘not important’ or think that there are people who should ‘chill’ for a joke, imagine putting any contreversial political leader among with men whose job description reads ‘rimjob inventor’ and see how offended you are. obama, churchill, i literally don’t care, this isn’t funny and not an apt comparison. regardless of your stance on the MILF they have taken lives, people have died for and because of them.
not everyone in the world speaks english. not everything in the world is about western countries. if intersectionality and racism were REALLY important to tumblr, you’d do your research, or at least wonder why the gentleman standing behind jafaar has a fucking gun.
sure it’s funny in english. but it’s not fucking respectful when you pull stupid shit like this.
fuck this white, western focus on tumblr that political issues that have taken lives ~*other countries~* get made into jokes. if you can’t blame it on yourselves and use your guilt to feel better, apparently the problems of non-western people don’t exist.
fuck you and your centralist, racist, bullshit. all for notes on the internet.
Whats red and bad for your teeth?
well you’re not wrong
my brother found my vibrator
a teenage horror story in one sentence
i found my brothers vibrator